By Pieter Ziegler
Sengezo Tshabangu is a wonder of the world if you decide to believe CCC leader(s).
He just woke up one day and started telling everyone that he was the CCC Interim Secretary General.
Everyone laughed until he started writing recall letters and the Minister of Local Government obeyed them.
So far his exploits have claimed over 60 councilors across the country.
The whole of CCC has failed to stop this stranger such that he is now going for their money under the Political Parties Finances Act.
Since we are all powerless against this fake SG with not-so-fake powers here are ways to survive his recalls:
1- Hide
Tshabangu doesn’t like excitable politicians who act like they want to liberate Zimbabwe for the second time.
One has to maintain civility and an ulterior posture of shock and confusion.
Act like you don’t know what is happening and even if you do, act like you don’t understand it.
In simple terms, and for example be like Charlton Hwende.
2- Negotiate
When Mwonzora was finally commissioned in the public light as an opposition sellout there was a stampede behind the scenes.
Faced with the decision between some heroic but painful drudgery on the side of the masses against the selfish but carnally satisfying feast with the enemy, many sold out.
While missiles were flying at Mwonzora during the day, in the evening many were pliant and indecorous, begging for their political lives.
Some survived and got their cars, stands and a single bite at the cherry.
The same trick can work with Sengezo.
3- Bite The Bullet
Our politics has no decorum to talk of.
The whole field is a hoodlum court of opportunists and hungry fellows mistaking the stomach pangs for Pan Africanism.
It thus doesn’t hurt anyone to come out outrightly and say I support Mr Tshabangu for this great initiative.
You can even add how the move has stabilised the country in the aftermath of SADC’s Mumba tactic.
4-Act Busy Tshabangu
has the uncanny habit of targeting busybodies of the type of Ostallos, always raining on the microphone.
However, you can save yourself and your tribe, the humiliation of missing out on a Twin Cab by acting busy on other things.
5- Run Away From Social Media
Social media has the dangerous habit of pumping Viagra into people’s imaginations.
Suddenly a nobody politician from some sewage-infested backwater location who won because of Chamisa’s name, thinks he can attack Mr Tshabangu.
It’s a fatal form of excitement that places one in perilous times.
Thus the best way is to altogether avoid social media and the dangerous idea to post some snide remark that will land you on the pile-heap of the recalled.
Disclaimer:
Mr Tshabangu, most of the times, operates according to no clear strategy, plan, order or formula.
So you can be recalled even if you follow all the above!